The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts anchor upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay males want to discover out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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