The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily discover this offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, page though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar